Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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