So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
