What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
