i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
