i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
