I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
