is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
