i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
