Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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