He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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