You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
