Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
