Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
