Cold hands, warm shart.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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