You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Houston, we have a blender
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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