do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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