she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize