My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
