Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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