i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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