Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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