the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
