i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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