im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
handjob tips. give me some.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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