i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
