I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
