it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
