she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize