Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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