You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize