At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
