girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
