in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
