I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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