your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
