remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
even my farts smell like vagina
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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