Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So many bounce houses so little time
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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