Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
