Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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