you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
