i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
