Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Mom said you looked used
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
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