4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You can't motorboat a personality
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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