oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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