Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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