Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize