"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
