i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
