I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
