The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
