maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
