worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
