What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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