yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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