The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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