He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
