Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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