He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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