why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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