I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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