how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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