are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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