Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
