He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
