You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
