yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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