he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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