Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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